Ben, bene: a root word meaning good or well (source, Webster)

  • benediction -- the invocation of a blessing
  • benefactor -- a kindly helper
  • beneficent -- 1. doing good or causing good to be done, 2. kindly in action
  • benefit -- anything that is helpful or for the good
  • benevolent -- desiring to do good to others

Monday, July 28, 2008

Good news!

I begin this blog on a high note, with the news that Ben has briefly opened his eyes and lifted his arms. These developments, though small, brought hope to my heart when I sorely needed it. I learned of these events through a joyful play-by-play my mom left on my answering machine Sunday afternoon. "Are you ready for some good news?" she began. I surely was. I will never erase this message. I've already replayed it several times, remembering my tearful, happy gasp at her words. Ben opened his eyes! He lifted his arms!

So far, though, there's another phone message that I haven't yet erased -- the much sadder one that began this whole saga.

This message, too, was left by my mother. Sit down, she said. Ben is in Intensive Care at St. Mark's Hospital. He's in a coma.

It was Wednesday, July 23. We learned that Ben had taken too many pills of perhaps too many prescriptions. He had pressure sores on his feet and back when paramedics responded, suggesting he'd passed out and been in one position for many hours before, compromising blood flow. His breathing was shallow. His liver and kidneys were failing. White blood counts showed some sort of infection, and his heart raced.

What a difference five days can make.

Today, Monday, July 28, Ben brings his left arm (he's a southpaw, you know) toward the ventilator tube or monitor wires. His movements are so purposeful, nurses have taken to restraining him so he won't pull something out! He "acts properly annoyed," says one nurse, grimacing when his teeth are swabbed, scowling at the insertion of a feeding tube.

Dad's voice prompted that wonderful eye movement on Sunday. Of course we all want Ben to open his eyes for us too. I'm happy thinking that the fluttering of his eyelids when I talked to him later that night was a valiant try for such a tired, weak body. (Besides, that net of dark eyelashes must be heavy!) Still, Ben could visually track the source of Jeff's voice when his eyelid was lifted. He also blinks in response to bright lights.

Ben's temperature is doing better, as is his heart rate. He's sporting some pretty awesome pressure stockings and furry booties to help with blood flow and muscle position. He undergoes daily dialysis.

Now knowing that Ben has taken baby steps makes it easier -- but maybe only slightly -- for me to process this all. Ben has a long way to go, I know. My feelings are very tender. Some I can't even deal with right now. I've never thought I could go through so many emotions in such a compressed time.

I'll let my family chime in as they're able, but I think I can safely speak for all of them when I say we have felt so buoyed and loved through this experience. Thank you, all of our fellow Ben fans, for your support. We know without a shadow of a doubt that Heavenly Father loves Ben because we feel His love for us.

I encourage you to check this blog for updates on Ben's condition. Please feel free to leave a comment, to share a joke, a poignant story, or words dear to your heart. We value your support more than you'll ever know.

Help us write a wonderful story for Ben to read soon.

Love,
Jenni

14 comments:

Dave Wind said...

Thank you Jenni for creating this blog and for your bravery and support for your dear brother! We are thinking of Ben and have been so sorry and worried. Compounding our concern was not knowing any of the details. It does sound like there will be a very long road ahead, but it is wonderful to hear that the Ben inside is stirring.
It was so nice to see him and chit chat with him about his ARUP job and SLC life at the Kohler reunion on Memorial Day. Seems like that was just yesterday!
He's such a warm and pleasant guy to hang out with... we look forward to a time when we can do that again.

We'll keep checking the blog!

Love, Brynja

Citizen Dylan said...

So great that you're keeping this blog, Jenni, so we can all stay updated. I think it's definitely hopefully news about Ben, and I know your being there around him are just the stimulation he needs. Much love to you all!

Dylan

Madison Kohler said...

Jeff just called me, and ben is somewhat awake and following comands!! We are so thankful and blessed to have friends and family praying and fasting for Ben! I truely believe that this is a miralce. Ben we love you! Jeff and I wish we could be up there with you! Love you!!

Love Jeff and Madi

Dad said...

Today was a good day for Ben and the power of the prayers by friends an family was manifest in a big way. He has awakened from the coma, and while he still has a ways to go, his responses to us have let us know that he is the Ben we know and love. The nurses at the critical care unit have told us that Ben's recovery to this point represents a true miracle, and we are thrilled to be able to participate in it.

Ben was breathing on his own most of the day, and would communicate with us through his eyes and hand motions. Including folding his hands and closing his eyes when a prayer was being said (something he didn't always do when asked to by his father) and waving good-bye when we left the room.

As a family we feel we are truly blessed and we would like to express our heartfelt thanks to all who included Ben in their prayers and to our Father in Heaven blessed us with his tender mercies.

Dad

Dad said...

I also want to express my heartfelt thanks to all of you who have wish us well, prayed and fasted for Ben. It has been an amazing day beginning with Annie's excited phone call to me this morning that Ben had held her hand and opened his eyes to try to communicate with her. As astounding as that was, the day only got better; we were greeted at the CCU by a cluster of nurses, smiling and exclaiming, "Today's going to be a great day for your family!" They were so right, and to see nurses in tears and pumping their fists in the air over Ben's improvement has humbled us and made us so thankful to be part of a miracle. There are still many things that Ben will have to do - he has to heal from some awful pressure sores, and take food by mouth when the airway is removed - but here's the great news - they will begin physical therapy tomorrow - can you believe that! Well, the answer is that I can believe it because I have seen it with my own eyes. Thank you, thank you, thank you. With all our love, Mom

Alli said...

What an exciting day for your family and all of us relatives (if I may speak for everyone briefly). I have been so touched by reading these updates and will continue to pray daily for his recovery. Any bit of progress is good news, so keep it up Ben!!

Allison Orton

Dad said...

In case Jenni doesn't get around to providing an update today, I'll put in my 2 cents worth. Today (Wednesday) marks 1 week since we heard the disturbing news that Ben was on his way to the hospital and we found out he was in a coma. When I first arrived at the hospital, the future prospects looked pretty dim. What a difference a week makes. Today they removed the breathing tube so Ben is on his own. He has a lot to say, but it is not all tied together. However, if you can connect the dots, you can see Ben come through. We know that there is a long road in front of us for Ben to be back 100%, but we are eternally greatful to our Father in Heaven for the miracle that has brought us to this point.

Shirley and I wish to express our thanks to all of our friends and family who provided support during this tough time. Ben is alive today because of your faith and prayers.

Dad

Jennifer said...

To anonymous:

Thank you for your concern. All we can do is move forward with the knowledge we now have about Ben, and help him get better. This is a lesson to everyone to reach out to your friends (or those in your daily circles) when you see something awry. We love Ben more than you could ever know.

Jenni

Kyland Holmes said...

Anonymous:

If you feel bold enough to point out how this could have been prevented after the fact, it begs the question: where were you? What did you do to help try and prevent something like this?

Madison Kohler said...

To Anonymous & Prayingmanic

This website is for Ben, not for you to point fingers.
We are all sad and hurting, but we need to stay strong
and positive for Ben. Please do not write comments
like that, Jenni did not make the website for you to do so.
If you want to leave a comment it needs to Positive!!
Thank you

Dad said...

To all the "Ben" fans out there! Today had its highs and lows, as I watch my son and see him smile back at me, I am grateful to still have him here. When I spoke with the doctor about the MRI, I was sobered to hear that Ben has suffered some brain damage and will need our help and support to recover, but along with that low came the immediate knowledge that the most important thing is that he is HERE to be able to make that journey and we are blessed to be able to make it with him. He expressed his love for us over and over today, and he remarked that he knows that he has so many friends at ARUP - what a huge blessing for him to know that he is also loved and valued there. I can't help but think that we will all learn some tremendous lessons about unconditional love, forgiveness, tolerance, and patience from this new journey we are beginning with Ben as our tour guide. Those of you who know Ben as we do, know that he doesn't have a judgemental bone in his body, he is one of the most loving people I have ever known and it will be a privilege to accompany him on his long and difficult journey back to health.
Please watch out for your friends, and those you see every day, they may need help and not be able to ask for it (or have trouble accepting it)- Ben's family has always been there for him, and we will continue to be - forever.
Ben's Mom

David T said...

Hi Benny!! Glad to hear the great news about your improved condition...no-one wants you off in LaLa Land, so welcome back to Mother Earth!! I can tell you that I AND my laptop miss your dearly...lol Don't make me have to get I.T. Literate..lol..We'll keep you in our prayers, and I know you'll be back to the Ole Ben that we love soooo much. (Just tell the nurses to double your dose of Red Bull in your IV Lines)...hope to talk with you soon.. David T.

Anonymous said...

I often doubt my own intelligence. My natural talents seem to be little above adverage to my own perspective, and my greatest fear is living my life with out bringing something of worth into this world.
Calling Ben's talents "above adverage" would be a complete understatement. It has always been obvious that, despite his personal weaknesses, Ben had no limitations to the things he could bring to the world around him.
Seeing such potential almost loosing his life, and now battling brain damage has hurt the most.
However, it is the same talented ablities that Ben has shown me that have kept me able to keep hoping from day to day.
Seeing little pieces of Ben coming back to life blesses my life each day, and has kept me motivated to continue moving forward.

Dad said...

Good Morning to all of Ben's friends and family!
When I spoke with the nurse, he told me that Ben is still very tired this morning. Ben is very ill and he is feeling the effects of the "ICU or Critical Care Unit Syndrome" - he is tired of being "Sick And Tired" - anyone else besides our family familiar with that great old Bill Cosby routine? They are hoping that today will be a quiet one for him, they will be limiting his stimuli so that he can get some rest.
Some great news is that his heart is responding to the heart medication and he is breathing more deeply. He is alert when awake and cooperative with all of the therapies they have given him. I can hardly wait to show him a sunset like the one Jim and I enjoyed from our deck last night. I appreciate all of the small wonders of the world so much more lately and I know that Ben will too. Keep him in your thoughts annd prayers, we have felt them, and we will need them in the days ahead.
Thank you,
Ben's Mom